Monday, November 30, 2009
venting.
a person can only take so much. it's funny how people label you sometimes. not in a bad way tho; like you might be that funny/happy person who's always smiling and cracking jokes. but inside you're stressing and overthinking everything. only, they can't see it. and when you do try to show that side of you they say shit like "oh somebody's bitchy" or "...but that's not how you usually are". i mean what if you are inside like that. maybe you're not that carefree. maybe you do actually give a fukc about everything. maybe you are scared what the future holds. they just can't see it because they just assume your life is a fairytale and you're always happy. nothing goes wrong with you and even if it do you just say "fukc it" and move on. so does that mean you're acting fake towards your friends and your family and basically everyone around you? or are you scared to show some emotions? scared what they would say or think. because you're strong right? it's funny how the stronger the person seems the weaker they are. but then again they're strong enough to not show their weakenesses. it's all too complicated. but it's nice to let it out sometimes. who gives a fukc about what others think!? life isn't easy and it fukcs you over. it's okay to show your emotions. maybe it's time i show some emotions. maybe i'm not so happy no more. don't get me wrong tho; i have a million reason to smile and be happy. but once in a blue; i get that feeling like nothing's going right and yet; i can't even show it because i think everyone's expecting me to be happy and nice. it's so weird. life is weird. i'm weird. get over it. eventually i will.
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"life is weird. i'm wierd. get over it. eventually i will." < love that cuz thats me to the T! some people don't take the time to see past the face that you present to the world. if all you show the world is smiles and laughter then when there isnt a smile on ur face ppl are just plan confused. they look to YOU to bring the brightness in the room, to make THEM feel better. they don't know how to respond when it looks like you need someone to make YOU smile. its okay to conceal your emotions only if you dont allow those same feeling to eat you up inside. its equally okay to reveal how you are feeling. i know its important to appear strong, no one wants to be taken advantage of but everyone needs someone they can feel vulnerable with. in time you will be more comfortable with yourself and you will realize a moment of uncertainty or despair does not make you weak, i promise! :)
ReplyDeletethanks. this is like the best advice i got in a minute. you just put EVERYTHING that i'm trying to say in better words. thank you :].
ReplyDeleteno problem chick-a-dee
ReplyDeletewoww that was one of the most intelligent things i've read in a while, i really enjoyed that one!! good post, and yes i really feel exactly what you mean i understand the complication of what people think of you opposed to whats the real you. it's all a crazy perception but wow i really liked that alot. i think you opened up very well !
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